hello all.
chem kills.
(but i still like it for some unfathomable reason)
i am bound to fail it,
and i say it with a straight face,
ever so earnest.
would be happy and eternally grateful
if i scrape a pass.
-clasps hands tgt-
sigh.
hmmm.
guess i still got a long way to go eh?
/:
ah sigh.
i mean, how do i actually know that i CAN do it?
what if at the end when it's too late,
i then realise that ive just been
trying to fill shoes that are way too big for me?
grahhh.
tis not very positive.
but it seems so real and impending.
damn it.
worries aside,
yes i finished the book
aforementioned in previous post.
twas good.
really thought provoking.
not a tragedy in anyway,
but it made me cry at its beauty.
call me silly/naive but it did.
may not really be a book for everyone though.
i guess it would differ inevitably.
-shrugs-
________________________________
told myself that i would change it,
it marks an end and also a start.
assured myself it's as simple as typing a new one in.
it doesn't really mean anything to me now.
yes i agree.
thought it was straightfoward,
thought i was ready.
but no.
as i clicked to change,
my hesitation meant everything.
as i commenced to type.
my subconscious blackout said everything.
i persuaded myself,
'its for unification, easier to rmbr'
i goaded myself,
'it shouldn't mean anything.'
i asked myself,
'what's stopping me?'
i guess i am just not ready.
and i really don't no why.
it's not in the mind,
my intentions are clear.
it's in the heart.
i detest myself for not being ready.
its just a string of letters.
maybe i just don't wanna erase off ur name yet.
not from my memory either.
