hope,
dangles on a string,
like slow spinning redeemption..
i have resorted to bellowing along to
Dashboard Confessional's Vindicated.
tres pathetic right?
-scoffs-
but its actually quite fun,
somehow it lifts me, call me weird(x
or just call me broken.
'and i am flawed,
but i am cleaning up so well'
-Dashboard Confessional, Vindicated-
i've hit rock-bottom. this is it.
never been this low. so low and without a lifeline thrown;
it is frightening. it suck to fell like this.
oh wait, i despise this.sigh, didn't wanna miss clas net carn training today.
have set to go all out for the class.
but you can't really help it when u feel dead horrid
after ingesting 3 panadols the night before.
over dosage was the desperate attempt to numb.come to think of it, i find it amusing.
i just felt like a hangover, but much worst.
trust me.
it was a desperate attempt, honestly.
i've been pushed that far and bam goes the trigger
and dad boosts the gunpowder; off i go down the dark alley.i am certain this is not me.
i do not want to be my own fear.
i do not want to be my own anger.
i want to
laugh.
laugh out to the sea,
laugh with all my might,
laugh right in front of people.
laugh at
thin air.
hmm.hrmm.
HAHA.
but truely all i want is to find someone and hide,
and cry in your arms and tell u everything.
yes, everything. everything that is bruising me.
i need to find ding.i can't wait for monday to come.
touch rugby!(:
and then tuesday; net carn!!
now
that puts a smile on my face.
well, not really, its more of
312!!
I LOVE THE CLASS!!!<3333
the class was really what made this bloody year worthwhile.overdosage of painkillers is literally painkilling.
it is a quiet and slow numbing experience. unthinking rest.
but. it is scary. very scarywell. thursday made me feel like worthless schmuk,
my grades were
horrendous.
hmm, friday was better i guess.
but the despair from math is still overwhelming.
ahh well.
i won't give up.watched The Prestige on thurs with ivy and dian too.
the movie's
waaaaaaaayy cool i tell you.
(;
the pledge, the turn and the prestige.
two words;
WATCH IT.
hrmmm. uhm i don't know why,
but i am wishing for a float to be thrown to me.
don't wanna freaking sink further.anyway, class training has been fine so far.
and i just wanna thank all all the people out there,
wihtout you, it wouldn't have been possible(:
and i think we'll doing great.
i am highly proud of us.
wats left is a little polish, but what matters most
is that we stick it through together alright?
once again, i love u people and thank you for having me(:
to a certain someone,
i hate myself for making you cry
and being such a lousy friend.
i am sorry.
i love my ding.
i know u mean well.
sigh, am getting my ankle, knees and ligament
checked after netball carn.
i hope it turns out fine.
ok who am i kidding; just let it be not too severe.
hmm, maybe i should get my brain checked too?
><
it stabs right through to see u walking off crying,
when i'll very much would have liked too hold on to u for support
and cry for all the freaking horrors that i feel.
but i have no one to blame but myself.just a question:
have u ever had a father who shoutssays,
"what do u think you are,
leading ur class? do you think u're good enough?
no u're not! u suck! what make u think u can try being
a leader? you will never make it!"?i wonder.
go shrivel and stink u scum.
ok people,
have a great and relaxing weekend!
rest well and see you bright and chirpy on monday,
ready to whoop it out
for Inter-Class games!!(;
LOL!
'i am seeing in me now,
the things you swore you saw yourself'
-Dashboard Confessional, Vindicated-
hey, after all my sense of humour is still intact.
look!
DISCLAIMER: this is not a self-imposed emo kid post.
it is under unwanted cricumstances.
please read with a pinch of salt?!haha!
take care everyone.
find me and save me will you?
please? i miss ding.
beautiful letdownso let me slip away.-floats off-
[(x ? ]
